It’s not that I do not want you to ride the motorbike or drive the car to buy papers in the morning.
It’s because your daily medicine affects your alertness and ability to focus or react. As much as I do not want you to die of cancer, I also do not want you to die on the streets. Plus, I do not wish others to die because of you.

It’s not that I do not want to let you walk to the nearby coffee shop all by yourself.
It’s because you’re still weak and dizzy it’s dangerous for you to use the road. I fear for your safety and that of others too.

It’s not that I do not want you to spend too much time outdoors.
It’s because chemotherapy renders yours immunity low. With a low white blood cell count, you could easily catch an infection which may be mild but too hard for your weakened system to fight against.

It’s not that I refused to let you paint the house gate at noon and in the late afternoon.
It’s because your skin is peeling and baking under the sun will doyou more harm than good.

It’s not that I have a sickening intention to keep you imprisoned.
It’s because that you need lots of rest and good food to regain the strength to fight the odds. Once you are better I’ll be all the more glad to let you you go out and run, and maybe fly.

It’s not that I do not want to let you eat beef curry or the seafood served in the party.
It’s because your doctor gave strict orders not to let you take oily and high cholesterol food.

It’s not that I do not want to help you wash your dishes, fetch your mug or switch on the lights for you.
It’s because I think you should learn to be independent and that you could use some simple daily function exercise especially after you complained about not moving around much for the entire day.

It’s not that I do not want to talk to you when I’m upset or angry.
It’s because I want to avoid saying things that might hurt you in a moment of fury. I believe that when you have nothing better to say, do not say anything at all.

It’s not that I do not wish to smile.
It’s because I myself have not quite healed. Your problem has been OUR problem. Yet you are not aware of MY own problem that left me so broken I need time to stand up again.

It’s not that I think you are a burden or that our current situation is a curse.
It’s not that I think God is mistreating us.

It’s just that I’m a human too and I need my private space and time to piece up the broken me.
The broken me is perhaps, not important at all. But you are.
All I’m asking for is your understanding and cooperation to help me help you recover.