This CNY is perhaps one of the very best in my 23 years of life. I enjoyed myself in all the usual CNY activities i.e. stuffing myself with loads of goodies and delicacies, drink myself silly but not too much, catch up and hang out with friends I haven’t seen or kept in touch with since Stone Age, spend time with family and relatives, admiring countless fireworks display in the night, dress up in my new year clothes and go house visiting, collect buckets and buckets of red packets, money counting at the end of each day, and many many many more.

All that makes a pleasant and enjoyable CNY. But these makes it better and then the best…

I was eating and feeling like I was gonna burst - It means I could chew and the food was going down my alimentary tract so smoothly without rejection. It means my appetite has returned. It means I’ve gotten well.

I was drinking and enjoying the taste of alcohol in my mouth and its effect over my body - It means I’m healthy and able to indulge in occasional shots of alcohol. It means I’m not abstaining from alcoholic beverages because I’m on medication which effects can be potentiated by alcohol. It means I’m lucky, at least for now.

I was meeting and having fun with friends and relatives whom I haven’t seen for a long time - It means I’m less reminded by my own pain that I’m actually enjoying other people’s company and wanting more of it. It means I’ve somewhat broken free from my own invisible enclosure and socializing easily like the old, original CN-.

I was spending an enormous amount of my time with my family and relatives, and enjoying every minute of it - It means I still care for my family and they are now the love of my life.

I enjoyed dressing up, go house visiting and collecting red packets - Not so much of vanity. Not so much of money mindedness. It means I’m truly able to have fun again. And smile from my heart after what seems like ages.

I’ve lost so much. Yet I didn’t realise I actually have so much in the first place and gained much more along the road. Indeed, I’m fortunate.

Happy Chinese New Year to all of you! May God bless you with a wonderful year ahead with lots of love, peace, happiness and good health